Growing Old

It's been ages since I've posted anything here. There's really just two reasons for that. One, I'm too busy and too lazy to post anything new. This really doesn't sound good because that would mean, I've been too busy or worse, too lazy for almost half a year. LOL. Another reason would be because sometimes I have so many things that I want to blog that when I'm in front of my laptop, I get so confused that I end up not blogging anymore. LOL again.

Tonight though is different. I had to write this down because most of the things that I wanted to blog is about this topic. It's about growing old. I am now at an age where most of my friends are married and have kids, most have a very good and successful career and unfortunately, some have family members who are either sick, recovering from an illness or have passed away.

Before, things were easy. In college, it would be what dress to wear at a friend's debut party. Then it came to choosing what wedding gift or baby shower gift (whichever came first ... lol). But now, it's down to what words of comfort to say to a friend whose mom or dad, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, granmom or granddad is sick, or getting tested for a heart disease or even the big C. And not only that, I myself am getting scared as my parents now are getting older and are now more fragile.

It's really hard being away from family. I know we can't always be physically there everyday, but you just can't help but wonder how they are feeling. Are they ok? Are they taking their vitamins? Do they have any feelings of discomfort? Are they telling me that they have any of these? These sort of things... In the end, praying is the best that I could offer.

I always pray that they stay healthy, safe and is living a comfortable life. I thank God for always hearing my prayers and hope that He would continue to grant my requests.

So to all my friends and to all the readers of this blog, I do wish that your family be always safe and healthy.


* Photo taken from Google images

'Cause I'm Leaving on a Jetplane

Tomorrow will mark our second week here in the land of snow, polar bears, Tim Hortons and President's Choice. Although we've kept ourselves busy from the time that we arrived, I still get homesick whenever I think of my family and friends that I have left behind in Manila. I will never forget that day in the airport.

Despite the fact that A and I had only 30 minutes of sleep, my body was wide awake as if I've been injected with five Red Bulls as we left our house in LP. I'm also guessing that because a couple of our friends insisted that they have breakfast with us before going to the airport also added to the adrenaline rush.

As we were done with breakfast, we headed to the airport. A and I got separated when we were on our way to the airport as we had a lot of things so there were three cars used. The third was our friend's. So anyway, I rode with my dad going to the airport. The minute we reached the flyover leading to the departure area of the airport, I literally wanted to throw up. There were like fireworks in my belly. A similar feeling when I was about to take the Nursing local board exam but this was worse. My hands were all clammy and my head was spinning. No, this is not connected to the lack of sleep that we had but from the thought of leaving... leaving my home.

We found a spot and as my dad, A and my friends were busy unloading our bags, I was already psyching myself not to cry when the time comes to say our goodbyes. At that instant, my tummy was back to normal and my head was not spinning anymore. I was ok surprisingly like a reset button was turned on inside my head to command it to be normal again. I felt pleased and relaxed. But the next thing that happened, made all the normalcy in me disappear.

I was saying goodbye to friends. One by one they hugged and wished me good luck. I then approached my dad and said "goodbye". He gave me a hug and I hugged him back. I was still ok... no tears. I let go of him but he was still hugging me tighter and tighter. It was at that time that I caved. My eyes suddenly was filled with tears. My dad then let go of me and patted my arm and said "sige na, ingat kayo" (Go now and take care). (I then went to my mom, I probably looked hideous as I was already crying) I gave her a hug and my heart just stopped when I also saw tears in her eyes. Funny how she asked me why I was crying when clearly she was holding back her own tears. I couldn't speak anymore and I just gave in. It was probably because that was the only time that I realized that we are "really leaving" them behind. This isn't just a short trip or a vacation... Stupid as it may sound but it was only then that my very sleep-deprived brain comprehended that it would be a long time before I see my parents and friends again.

As mixed emotions were drowning my mind, I said my final goodbye to my family and friends then left and headed towards the entrance of the departure area.

*Image taken from Google images.

09 to 10

It has been exactly six months since I've last posted an entry in this blog. A lot has happened and my new job and other "extra-curricular" activities have kept me busy and have prevented me from blogging. To make things simple, let me just make a list of what has happened for the past six months before I go talking about my plans for this new year.

1. I am now part of the workforce again. I am now working for an international organisation which I believe plays a great part in making the future of their clients a lot brighter, to say the least. :) I am quite enjoying myself in this new job even if it is totally different from my previous one. The people are great! I met new friends, a few them remind me of the friends I made in my previous job. Weird huh?! :) LOL.

2. A couple of days after working again, A and I were super duper uber to the nth level happy when we found out that we passed the June 2009 Nursing Licensure Exam. No words could explain the excitement and joy when we saw our names on the website of the Phil. Daily Inquirer. It was so funny because we were holding hands when we were scrolling down the page to check our names. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs (I never thought I would be able to produce such sound, a shriek only a hungry infant or a bruised toddler can make) and then the pipe works started working. I only realized that I was crying already when I tasted something salty while I was speaking with my mom-in-law. I also didn't feel that I cut myself (I have no idea where) on the side of my right thumb from all the excitement. LOL. After calling my parents, we went out to meet our other classmates and celebrated. Thank you Lord. :)

3. One of the letters that A and I are waiting for the longest time finally arrived.
This too also made me cry. Unfortunately, I cannot explain more on this as I don't want to jinx it. To my close friends, you know what this is... so thanks for your prayers.

4. I've watched two live concerts from two foreign artists. Something I haven't done in a long time. The first one is actually "A's concert" as he is a fan of the artist, Nine Inch Nails. And the second one was "my concert"... it was Katy Perry's!!!

5. Lastly, A and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary last month. We went to Tagaytay and stayed there for three days. We were able to spend quality time together and at the same time was able to eat at most of the excellent restaurants the city has to offer. I'll post another entry to show the photos of the food we ate. Yes, we had more photos of the food and the restaurants than us. LOL. Foodies indeed.

I may have forgotten other events that have happened over the past six months, I'll probably post them once I remember them. But for now, these five are at the top of my list.

Now that it is the new year... another clean slate presents itself. Another opportunity to renew ourselves (for the better I hope). I hope that for our sake, the people around us and the world we live in, let us always try to be considerate of one another. I hope and would definitely try to be optimistic. Will always look at things as being "half full" rather than "half empty". No new year's resolution as always only dreams becoming realities.

Happy 2010 everyone!

We did it!

Yes, I am back! After another long break from blogging, I am here.

Last week, April 1 to be exact, April Fool's Day, was our graduation day. A and I are now BSN graduates. Woohoo! I cannot believe that it's been two years already. I remember telling A that two years is a long time to wait but I didn't even notice that it's been that long already. All the adjusting to being a student again (after eight years) has finally paid off.

So anyway, the commencement exercises was held in PICC. We were 800 BSN graduates. Imagine, 800?! Whew! That was a long list!

The guest speaker was a priest and he gave a Homily-like speech but it was ok. There were funny parts but as students, we got bored and wanted to get on with the giving of the diplomas. So while the guest speaker was ending his speech, this is what we were doing...




And once we got our diplomas, we didn't go back to our original seats. Instead, we looked for our other friends and decided to sit together. Lol. Mga pasaway! And this is what transpired while waiting for our other friends to get their diplomas.




And being the second-coursers that we are, one by one we sneaked out of the auditorium so we can start with our photo op. Lol! And here's a peak of some of the pictures....

Moi and A... "We did it!"


Ladies in Black


"Alin...alin... alin ang naiba?"


Group pic!!!


With my parents and A's mom


Now we got one more hurdle to overcome and then we're set.

I thank God for everything, my parents for being supportive in this path that I've chosen, for A who was always so patient and understanding, for the friends that I've made in this new chapter of my life (they made exams, hospital duties and our case presentation bearable!) and lastly, I would like to thank my hairstylist for this event and the 33 hairpins (yes, I counted them!) that held up my gorgeous bun. Too bad, I forgot to take a photo of it. :)

To all the graduates of 2009, congratulations!!! Woohoo!!!! *Tumbling tumbling*

Thank You

In relation to my previous post, my family and I would like to thank everyone who sympathized and gave their love and support when my grandmother passed away last week. I was so deeply touched to receive text messages from people extending their condolences to our family despite the fact that they haven't met my grandmother. Also to those who came to the wake especially to those who came after office hours (I know you're all tired and that LP is a bit far from where most of you live), our heartfelt thank you.

Ina

It was always told in Religion class that death is a stage in our life that should not be feared as it is at this time that we come to live with our creator in paradise. This belief is what I have been holding on to since I have learned the concept of death. It is what kept me from being "at peace" and not questioning the reasons why people have to die. However, it is different when a loved one has moved on to paradise.

My grandmother passed away last Sunday.

It wasn't something that happened suddenly. We all knew that her health was slowly deteriorating. We were hoping for the best but was preparing for the worst. As her health slowly deteriorated, I felt helpless. I wished that I could take away the pain that she felt. But there was nothing that I could do but to kiss her on the forehead and asked her to try to eat more. In short, I wanted her to fight to stay with us. The look on her face and the frailty of her body sent a piercing pain on my heart. Unfortunately, our worst fear happened. Ina, my grandmother was gone.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself that she is now in a better place, a big part of me still wishes that she's still here. I know it is selfish but right now this is how I feel. A lot of 'what ifs' have crossed my mind, and I wish that I could resolve them. One of these is to be able to repay the time and effort she has given to care for us when my brother and I were still young and our parents were out working. She has become our second mother. And because of the kind of lifestyle that we have right now, the busy schedules, the deadlines that have to be met and the responsibilities that need to be done, only a minute fraction of her care and love for us were reciprocated.

I'm sorry Ina for not doing more.

I love you.

I cannot stress how this message has made an impact on me. I hope you would all take the time to watch this.

Song of the Week 5/2009

This week's Song of the Week was performed by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church entitled The Prayer. A lot of artists have done renditions of this song but this is what I like best.

I chose this song because it is what got me through last weekend.

New Year

First off, Happy new year everyone!!! I've just finished copying the pictures in my flash drive and I am getting ready to save them in my laptop. I better get started on these or else it would pile up again. So many pictures, so many memories of the past year.

I just love the new year. No matter how many times we've gone through it, it still (and don't deny it) gives us renewed hope about certain things in life. Even if it is just the coming of a new year, somehow, we would like to think (yes, me included) that we can start anew. It's like having a clean slate and we could totally redo or try to makeup for whatever shortcomings we've had from the previous year.

But before I go yapping about the new year, I would like to say that last year was probably one of the most memorable years of my 30 year existence. This is because and from what I have mentioned, yes, the big 3-0 happened last year. I celebrated my 30th birthday though in the beginning it was with much anguish and hesitation, I have come to ACCEPT this kind of "passing". I've realized that turning 30 isn't that bad. I may be checking a different box in the age section when filling out application forms but it's just numbers.

Second, my parents left the country to be immigrants in the US. This was one of those things that have kept me awake and sleepless weeks before they left. There were times when I was crying myself to sleep just by thinking of the idea that my parents won't be here for a very long time. The longest time that I've been separated from them was for a month when they went for a vacation in the US. That was it! This time, I know they'd be staying there for a longer period so I was really really really sad. It did however, taught me to be more INDEPENDENT and self-sufficient. This really made me realize that it's time to grow up and take charge.

Third, a few months after my parents left, my maternal grandmother who was living next door got really sick. She was in remission from colon cancer and is now fighting leukemia. My aunt and I got confused and disoriented at first. Doctors were telling us that my grandmother was really weak and showed signs of having a failing heart. This is the reason why my parents went back to check on my grandmother. I had mixed emotions at that time because I was both happy and sad when my parents went back here. Every so often when my parents left, I've always wished that they'd go back. And when they did, it was under terrible circumstances. I hope and pray that she'd fight the leukemia. I believe in the power of the prayer. And I believe in MIRACLES.

Fourth, I started blogging early last year. With some help from my friends E and A, I started blogging like crazy. There was a time when I got so hooked that I lost sleep because of blogging and doing blog hops. And because of blogging, I've met different kinds of interesting people from around the world. I've learned a lot from them and hope to LEARN more.

Lastly and probably the most reason why 2008 was memorable for me is because I got married late last year. I am now a Mrs., a wife and someday a mother to our future kids. There are so many good words to use on how I felt on that day. But to sum it all up, it is HAPPY (quite an understatement might I add). I could not ask for a more loving, caring, responsible and super drop-dead gorgeous husband. *wink wink*

So for 2009, I hope to not only ACCEPT things as they come or to be more INDEPENDENT or to never stop believing in MIRACLES or to never hesitate to LEARN new things or to be HAPPY with my life no matter how crappy it can be at times but to be able to do all of this and more with my new life with my husband.

Cheers everyone! Here's to a great year ahead of us!

Belated Happy Birthday Sundae!

My husband was not the only one that celebrated his birthday this month. My dog, Sundae also celebrated her 1st birthday last December 16.

I can still remember like it was yesterday when my old dog, Butter passed away last Valentine's day. I was so heartbroken. I cried buckets when my mom called to tell me that she's gone to doggie heaven. My dad wanted to get a replacement right away so we went to find the same breed, a Japanese Spitz to take the place of Butter.

After a week or so, we bought Sundae from a breeder. She was just a tiny ball of fur that was so shy and jumpy when we got her. Now that she's a year old, she looks like this....



... from this...


I haven't bought her anything yet for her birthday as I was cramming to buy Christmas presents for my family and friends. I plan on buying her one of those soft pet beds. She could use this whenever she's inside the house. Yeah, I think I'll get her that instead of the ballet outfit which she would only chew on. LOL.

So, to my lovable and super hyper pet, Sundae, belated happy birthday sweetie!

Feeling Low

I have a confession to make: I was unable to do most of the tags given to me last month. Obvious ba?! LOL. I got caught up with a lot of things like school and errands but there was one more thing that made me "unbloggy" (if ever there is such a word -- highly doubt it!) except of course for my ka-datung-an entries (LOL).

I was unbloggy because I was feeling under the weather. I wasn't really sick but it surely felt like it. Whoever said that "misery needs company" was mistaken. I was miserable but I didn't need company. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be alone with thoughts, if ever there were any. Actually there were a lot of things to think about, they were so many that my brain felt numb.

I really didn't think that missing my parents would be this bad. I miss them terribly. It's sad going home to an empty place. I know I'll get used to it but I'm giving myself more time to adjust. There's really no use in speeding things up. It's a good thing I'll be seeing them in December but I'm guessing it'll be harder to leave then. This is probably what they mean about growing up. It sucks! Hehe!

So going back to the tags, my apologies to my blogging buddies. I promise I'll do the new ones (if ever you'll still tag me..hehe).

Welcome BC!

This is a super delayed entry. A month delayed to be exact.

Last 18 June 2008, my brother's second son, Byron Chaz was born. He is the second grandchild of my parents. We have a small family. My other nephew, Aidan (Byron's kuya) is also a June celebrant. Tatlo na kaming Gemini sa pamilya! Lagot! Hahahaha!

So anyway, I'd like to share these photos that I got from my sis-in-law's blog. Teehee! I just want to nibble those chubby cheeks! Welcome to the world Baby B.C. I'll see you in December. Weee!

Oh and happy 1st monthsary baby Byron! :-)

Moral of the Story

Patience is a virtue so they say. I am a true believer of this even though at times my EQ is low and that being patient entails a lot of energy in my part. This concept however is important to me when it comes to shopping. I prefer to take my time so I could look at all the merchandise. That's why when my cousin bought a new TV, he was so disappointed because he could have gotten better electronic deals if only he checked other sites on the internet. Well, he learned his lesson not to grab the first "sale" sign that he sees or not to go browsing after buying the merchandise.

Colorful Life (Makulay ang Buhay) ... LOL!

Before reading this entry, I want you to watch this video.




Nice of these kids to just pop those ampalaya or bitter gourd in their mouth. I am not like them when I was a kid. Since I can remember, I was never really a fan of veggies. I've always wormed my way out of a situation where it entails eating green, leafy, bitter vegetables. I don't even know (and haven't seen) half of the vegetables mentioned in our folksong Bahay Kubo. I just can't bring myself to put it in my mouth, chew it and pretend that it tastes good. I kept telling myself, "I am not a 'horse'." Why would they force me to eat them? There must be something else that tastes less revolting. Apparently there are only a couple of veggies to choose from. Now as I am older, I am more adventurous and let's just say I'm more willing to give those leafy things a second chance.

Surprisingly and with the expertise of Aris's mom when it comes to cooking veggies, little by little I am now eating these once despised leaves, stalks and sprouts. My mom and dad would be proud! :) But don't applaud yet as I have one goal before I can truly say that I am not a veggie eater. And that is if I am willing and able to eat my three archenemies:







Baby steps is the key I guess. You really can't expect me to be a vegetarian in just a couple of days right? :) And once I find the perfect recipe that would bring out the "yummy potential" of these three, then it would be stubborn of me not to try it.

What about you? Is there anything that's not found in the freezer and dairy section in the market that you do not or CANNOT eat?

Sweet 15

Whenever I'd get invited to my younger cousins' 18th birthday celebration or what we call here as their debut party, memories of my friends' debut party started rushing back in my mind. I am reminded of the days when we were in our ball gowns dancing with our partners and saying our birthday wishes to the debutant. Despite the happy memories, I can't help but realize that I am really getting old because my once cute baby cousins are now all grown up and are already adults. I am however, excited to attend my second cousin's 15th birthday that she will be celebrating this October. She said that the Quinceanera invitations for me and my family were already mailed. This would be my first time to attend this kind of party so I am obviously psyched. I don't care if majority of the guests are half my age. Can't wait to party!

Be careful what you WISH for

I look back at myself nine years ago and I just can't help but laugh. You see, not so long ago, before I graduated in college, I've always wanted and dreamed of moving out and having my own apartment. Friends and Melrose Place were my inspiration. Like any other "typical" fresh graduate, I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to have fun! I wanted to experience being independent. Unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, that dream of mine never became a reality. I had fun. I explored. I became independent in some ways but I was still living with my parents.


Now it's the other way around. I don't want to live on my own. I want my parents to stay. I will miss them terribly but I now that soon we will be reunited. I just have to be patient and keep my self busy so I won't get sad all the time.

I'm thankful Aris is here with me. Otherwise, I might go crazy. Yes, this,*pointing towards myself* is still normal. LOL!

Mommy and Daddy, I'll see you in December. Mami-miss nyo ako promise! ;-)

Old School is Cool

Once again, I am cramming. The gift that I was supposed to buy for my dad on Father's day was sold out. So I was like a crazy woman in the mall yesterday trying to find the perfect father's day gift. Then I came across this store with super cool vintage goodies that were given a modern twist. I saw this really old phonograph which turns out to be an mp3 player speaker. How cool is that! There's also this vintage-looking radio. I thought it was also a speaker but it's a working radio. I was about to take it when I saw these new pocket watches that they've just put on the shelves. I knew then that it would be perfect for my dad. I'll be giving it to him later. Hope he likes it.

Trager and Tomas

Yesterday was a special day for me and Aris. To our friends, you know what I mean. I simply cannot include any other info about it except that it was great, our stomachs were full and we are all happy and content with the decisions we've made. Below are some pictures that we took. No arguments, no hassles, no confusion. Whew! Both Aris and I were unfamiliar on how to start the conversation but it ended up pretty ok. The date and venue was settled. All we have to do now is take care of the minor details and we're set for December! I'm guessing you already know what this is about. LOL!











I am feeling a whole bunch of emotions. Majority is happiness but I cannot deny that I am feeling a tad anxious, a little bit of stress but I am also super duper excited because this means traveling again! Weee!!! To my friends who will be there in December, I'll see you soon! Em, sorry to put you on the spot but if ever you're going (crossing my fingers and toes!), I need your expertise. You know what I mean. :-)

I Hope She Finds One

"It is so unfair." That is what I often hear my cousin say whenever a new zit has just so comfortably placed itself on her cheeks. I really am one of the lucky ones that didn't go through the heightened pimple activity during my puberty. Though I have occasional breakouts, I was fortunate to not have any acne problems when I was a teenager. Too bad for my cousin, the moment she reached the age of 13, her once flawless and rosy cheeks are now red from the acne.

Another school year is about to start and she is desperate to get the best acne treatment. She doesn't want to go to her new school looking like that. I hope she finds one so she can go to her new school feeling confident. She's such a pretty girl and I really don't want her always hiding her face or looking down because of her acne.

TIME and TIME again....

Last Friday, my future MIL *wink wink* has arrived.

After days of making our apartment squeaky clean, it finally paid off when she said that it looked great! Whew! *wiping sweat off my forehead*

So anyway, I just wanted to share two of the things that she gave me that really left a plastered smile on my face. Teehee! :-)

Item #1: She gave me her (but still looked brand new) Nurse Mates wrist watch and a lapel watch. It looks really nice. I can't wait to use it during our hospital duties. Plus I'm hoping and wishing that her Head Nurse skills and knowledge would be transferred to me. LOL!



Item #2: She gave us (moi and Aris) a gold necklace. It has a pendant that looked like half of a coin. One has a girl's face while the other one has a guy's face. Both pendants had an Italian inscription: "divisi ma sempre uniti". I researched and found out that these are his & hers love pendants. I found two meanings for the inscription. One says: "Always Together Though As Individuals" and the other says: "Divided But Always United". *kilig*

His mom said that those necklaces have been travelling with her for a couple of years now. Everytime she would go back here in Manila for a vacation, she'd bring the necklaces with her. I'm not exactly sure how old the necklaces are but she said she's been bring it to and from Manila for quite some time now and that she would give this to Aris so he could give it to the girl he would marry. *kilig ulit.. LOL!* I think both Aris and I were blushing when his mom handed it to us. *grinning*

And to all... A Good Night!

After two non-blogging days, I am dropping by just to say "hi" (for now) to my fellow bloggers. I am still tired to blog but I promise to update you guys tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is Song of the Week posting. I just really need some serious shut-eye to recuperate from my late night study sessions last week.

Good night everyone! And Happy 80th Birthday again to my lola, Ina! :-)